It is often in times of great tragedy that we realize how lucky we are.
Isn't that sad? It takes a tragedy to make you value what you should have been valuing all along?
Do not get me wrong. I make it a point to tell my husband that I love him daily, and thank him for the things he does, no matter how small. I wake my baby and put her to bed saying I love her. I am very thankful for her every moment.
But I am only human. And sometimes I lose sight of how eternally lucky I am for the gifts that I have. I didn't sleep well and am cranky. I have to stay at school until 5pm and rush through the things I need to do tonight--stuff diapers, wash and prep bottles, fill my 5 water bottles for school, oh and eat dinner. These thoughts, this to-do list overtakes my brain and becomes priority one.
Today, a woman is grieving the loss of her precious baby son at 3 and a half months. After overcoming the early loss of a triplet, and the loss of twins at 23 weeks. Her son, HER GIFT, her rainbow and her promise for a brighter future has been ripped from her grasp.
Life. It fucking sucks sometimes.
Today, I will pick up my baby at 5 o'clock. I will hold her and love her every moment I can. I will remember that diapers and bottles and every other little bit of stress do.not.matter. And how dare I ever think they do?
What matters is her. My precious baby. Her smiles and her laughter and yes, even her late-night cries. She matters. And nothing on this earth matters more than her.
Rest well, sweet baby Z. The world has lost some sunshine without you here.